I AM the Crazy

Usually its me who does the driving people crazy. I have a very difficult time sitting down, so I tend to pace around a lot whenever that is an option. That bugs the shit out of some people and often they will demand that I sit down. Many people get nervous by my pacing, ironic since I get nervous because I don’t pace. Even when I sit down I tend to move my legs around, and if there is no table to conceal it people will often comment on it. If there is one thing people ask of me, it is why I pace so much. Usually I just say its because I get nervous if I don’t, but I’ve taken to copying Frank Sinatra and saying it’s “my way.” Which it is. Alas because I have Asperger’s Syndrome, there is very little I can do about it; despite the fact I can keep most of the conditions quirks under control. I hate saying that I have it, but I will never deny it if pressed. Some people have actually had the audacity to ask me if I have some sort of disorder, and if I say yes they will invariably want me to specify. My empathy and skill at reading people is highly limited, but I can totally read the unspoken message people are subconsciously asking me. “You act weird, so there must be something wrong for you.” Occasionally some people will ask me if I have it, but tell me that it’s okay if I don’t answer. I don’t want to answer, but I always say yes because no answer is always a “I don’t want to say ‘yes’ but I don’t want to lie.” To make the matter even more ironic, many of the things people admire about me are also symptoms; such as my high level of knowledge on certain things and my snarky say-what-I-think attitude. Most people get used to the pacing and come to accept it as part of who I am.

It took me 45 minutes to write this. 15 of which was spent pacing back and forth.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/31/prompt-drives-me-crazy/

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6 responses to “I AM the Crazy

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