What publicity stunt should Putin do next?

It’s no secret that Russia’s elected dictator oops, ugh, President Putin is rather fond of doing crazy shit o establish his place as an alpha male. Whether it’s formula one racing, hang gliding with cranes, hunting Siberian tigers, and doing a bunch of other stuff with his shirt off, it’s pretty clear he loves being the center of attention. For a former director of the KBG who is involved with selling arms to repressive regimes while violating civil rights in his own country, I just can’t view him as evil. He is just too goofy. Me and a couple of classmates from my Russian Lit class came up with some ideas for what he should pull next. In no particular order:

1. Guest star at a Professional Bull Riding (PBR) tournament
2. Approve for his likeness to be used as a playable fighter in the next Mortal Kombat
3. Perform on a polar bear themed float at Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
4. Become an ordained minister in The Church of Subgenius
5. Tour with Parliament Funkadelic as a pimped out version of Alexander Pushkin
6. Compete in Lucha Libre
7. Walk a tightrope across the Grand Canyon
8. Portray Count Vronksy in a “liberty taking” remake of Anna Karenina
9. Wrestle crocodiles in Australia
10. Be a Merman at Sea World
11. Dance at Chippendales
12. Become the new mascot for Dos Equis (after all he is the TRUE Most Interesting Man in the World)

If you have any other good ideas for stuff he should do, please share!


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